Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tempted
Dear co-workers,
You are all lovely people, and I know you mean well, but I’m trying to diet, as are many of you (ahem), and, well, dieters aren’t always the strongest of strong-willed folks. So if you wave a cake slathered with delicious homemade frosting in my face (and by ‘in my face’ I mean on a table far far away… in the next room), then I’m gonna take a piece, because honestly it would just be rude not to. And, sure, I start off by just taking one sensible sliver. I even trash the napkin that had been serving as a plate so I won’t be tempted to grab another slice. But I’m a resourceful eater with 28 years of experience behind me, the most important of which being years one through five-ish, so I know hands can masquerade as plates just as easily as that napkin. Soon that single sensible sliver I allowed myself, the one I heartily congratulated myself on earlier (what restraint!) turns into two (award yourself with another!), two into a questionable chunk, and before the day is over half the cake is gone, I’m cleaning off all the excess icing you people thoughtlessly left behind on the cake board, and am giving some serious thought to licking the knife clean. My new pants and I can’t go on like this. So, if at all possible, could you please, please, pretty please with low-calorie artificial sweetner on top, ixnay on the showcasing of your ever faboolous culinary skills? Because I just can’t quit your desserts.
Thank you,
Nanda
You are all lovely people, and I know you mean well, but I’m trying to diet, as are many of you (ahem), and, well, dieters aren’t always the strongest of strong-willed folks. So if you wave a cake slathered with delicious homemade frosting in my face (and by ‘in my face’ I mean on a table far far away… in the next room), then I’m gonna take a piece, because honestly it would just be rude not to. And, sure, I start off by just taking one sensible sliver. I even trash the napkin that had been serving as a plate so I won’t be tempted to grab another slice. But I’m a resourceful eater with 28 years of experience behind me, the most important of which being years one through five-ish, so I know hands can masquerade as plates just as easily as that napkin. Soon that single sensible sliver I allowed myself, the one I heartily congratulated myself on earlier (what restraint!) turns into two (award yourself with another!), two into a questionable chunk, and before the day is over half the cake is gone, I’m cleaning off all the excess icing you people thoughtlessly left behind on the cake board, and am giving some serious thought to licking the knife clean. My new pants and I can’t go on like this. So, if at all possible, could you please, please, pretty please with low-calorie artificial sweetner on top, ixnay on the showcasing of your ever faboolous culinary skills? Because I just can’t quit your desserts.
Thank you,
Nanda
# posted by Nanda @ 11:04 AM 
