Exotic yet ordinary

Dear evil chain store which cheerfully harbors my copy of Book 7,

I will be in attendance at your release party this evening. You were the closest to Cowtown and you promised butterbeer. And shrieking pre-teens in costumes. Okay, and shrieking adults in costumes. Really, who can resist that? I have managed to avoid spoilers, even the teensiest of teensy ones, up to this point (it helps to not know the top secret locations of all the fan sites and to have co-workers who have better things to do than fuss over a boy wizard, the lunatics). So please oh pleeeease, with Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans on top , do not muck this up by allowing any of us to get our grubby little paws on Deathly Hallows before midnight, no matter what promises that hot, underaged Luna Lovegood made. That way, I won't have to waste precious reading time thumping the inconsiderate jerkface two spaces ahead of me who thumbed through the book with the sole purpose of discovering who gets offed, only to report the body count at an obnoxious volume to the friend dressed like Professor Trelawney all of two inches away. Otherwise, thanks in advance for a lovely evening.

Hugs and kisses,
Nanda