Exotic yet ordinary

Maya followed me to the door to say goodbye when it was time for me to go back to work this afternoon. Just as I was about to step off the porch, she yelled: Byyyyye, Mom! Be careful! And watch out for snakes in the road! And then she smiled and waved.

I can't BELIEVE it! I can't believe I actually forgot. The release date for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? July eleventh. Somewhere on the other side of the internets, the biggest Harry Potter fan I know is smacking her forehead.

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"It's Me! Maya!"

"Me Maya who?"

"Um..."(silence) "Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Joke."

"Joke who?"

"Get it?"

Justin recently rescued our PowerPuff Girls soundtrack, Heroes and Villains, from the land of neglect and dustbunnies just in time for the release of the first season of the PowerPuff Girls to DVD. (I can't believe I just said that without a stitch of exclamation or misuse of my capslock. What restraint!) I haven't listened to the CD in a few days because Justin is holding it captive in his car, but that hasn’t prevented one of the songs from taking up residence in my noggin. I woke up singing the super secret bonus track this morning and I can’t seem to shake it. And since I’m a sharer of good things, I thought I would pass the song along to you. Press play!

Ranks right up there with I love you too much! and I said pleeeeease! and You're my best mama ever as my favorite things to hear Maya say.

One year my grandmother really wanted a new dishwasher. So she hinted and hinted to my grandfather that a dishwasher would be a swell gift, particularly for Mother's Day. At last it was May and Mother's Day arrived and my grandmother was presented with a brand new -- lawn mower. And she was understandably disappointed, but she had a birthday coming up in June, so she continued to hint and hope for that new dishwasher. On her birthday, my grandparents went to town, and my grandmother waited anxiously outside the store while Grandpa made his purchases because she just KNEW that this time she would get her dishwasher. And when after what seemed like forever he finally emerged from the store, my grandmother was presented with – another lawn mower. Of course, Father’s Day was right around the corner, so my grandmother called Sears to order a gift for my grandfather. Sears delivered her purchase a few days later, and for Father’s Day, my grandfather was presented with a brand new dishwasher.

Flash forward to Father’s Day 2007. To avoid a repeat of last year (he didn't receive his gift until April of this year, a mere 10 months late), I left the house Saturday morning (an entire day early!) with every intention of returning with a Father's Day present for Justin. I even had a specific something in mind, a new book, released this very month by an author who, I felt, would be fairly well known. Surely, surely, even in this area of Oklahoma , I wouldn't have a terribly hard time locating a copy. Yeah. So, two book stores later and still no book. This wouldn’t have been so bad if Bartlesville had more than two book stores, and if I had been pessimistic enough to come up with a backup gift. But they don't and I wasn't and then I got sidetracked at the mall by, of all things, clothes. On Sale. In the women's department. Clothes that I actually liked and that liked me back. Nice clothes, comfy clothes, clothes that pleaded to go home with me, and who was I to say no, no I can't possibly buy you today, despite our immediate rapport, because tomorrow is Father’s Day and I still don’t have a gift? So, for Father’s Day I presented Justin with brand new clothes – for me. And then I apologized and hurried into the other room to place an order online. He should be able to pick up his happy Father's Day present this Thursday.

My grandmother has been diagnosed with follicular lymphoma. My grandmother. The woman who wears magic glasses and adores Elvis and used to play Nintendo games in the family room for such long stretches at a time her butt would go numb. The woman who helped me bake one of my first cakes and no-bake cookies and fixed me fried Spam sammiches and lots and lots and lots of fried potatoes. The woman who collects frogs and angels and had The Hobbit on Betamax and would read Little Match Girl to me before bed and let me sleep in the window seat of her bedroom when I visited. She has follicular lymphoma. And if I say this to myself enough times, I might start to believe it.

There is a bathroom tucked away on the first floor of our office. This bathroom features a single stall and a door that locks and it doesn’t typically get a whole lot of traffic, all important features for to the social worker who doesn’t like to do a two in the company of other social workers. As a bonus, there is a Holy Bible nestled on the back of the toilet with the other more secular reading material, because you just never know when the word of God might come in handy.

It was to this bathroom that I referred my co-worker when she announced she had to go. Yeah, it’s farther away. But the privacy! And, of course, there’s that bible. Bibliomancy while you wait! I said. Meditate on a specific question or problem, then flip open to a random page to see what God has to say on the matter. She was stoked. She went downstairs.

A few minutes later, she came back to her cubicle. I popped my head around the corner. “So, what’s the good word?” “Woe to the complacent. Amos 6.” This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

I am always the one who breaks the bar of soap. Always. It doesn't matter if it is home made or store bought, how careful I am, if I use a wash cloth or apply it directly to my person, if I use my left hand or my right, the result is the same. I break the damn bar of soap. Me. I do. And I think it is only fair you know this about me before you invite me over for the weekend or some weird twist of fate forces us to live together.

Yesterday, I started sifting through campaign information in preparation for the upcoming primaries (a whole, what, seven months away?) and holy CRAP is there ever a lot of information. Official campaign sites, MySpace pages, YouTube pages, blogs, vlogs, articles, debates, clips, campaign ads, quizzes. Turns out, becoming informed is a pain in the ass. But, occasionally, the clips are entertaining.