Exotic yet ordinary

You know how when faced with an outcome you're not particularly comfortable with, you start to play stupid games like 'okay, I'll wait and not say anything while he's doing the breast exam to see if HE finds anything, and if he doesn't, then it's probably nothing'? Well, yeah, I did that yesterday during my appointment, because God knows THAT would be a perfect time to put my doctor to the test. So I didn't say a word. I just held my breath as my doctor completed the breast exam and then slowly exhaled as he moved on to the pelvic exam (FYI: speculums are of the devil).

At the end when we're sitting there and he's telling me everything looks fine and I'm doing good, I go ahead and tell on myself. "Hey, um, I don't do breast exams very often, so I don't know what's normal (nervous laugh) and what's not, but, well, I found something, or THINK maybe I've found something, right here (mashes on breast) and I was wondering if it was anything...?" He presses on it, sits back, and says that he thinks it's just fibrous tissue (comforting) and isn't really anything to worry about (more comforting) BUT (and this is where I start to get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and my mind screams: But?? BUT!?! What But?! There is absolutely NO room for any buts in this conversation WHAT.SO.EVER!) let's schedule you for a mammogram and maybe an ultrasound JUST to be sure.

And so, that's what I did. I got dressed, checked out, paid my co-pay, and was scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram for February 14 at 9AM. I'm so excited, I don't know how I can possibly stand it. This is going to be the best Valentine's day evah, I just know it!